Still going...

If I know one thing about myself, it's that if I'm still at something after a week or two, I'm going to give it an honest go.

This time feels like one of these times. I've been eating clean #Whole30 now since Friday. That doesn't sound that impressive but for me, it's a lot. I was away for work at a conference and really I started on October 31--Halloween. However, I went to a research conference and ate dinner at one of the 2nd best restaurants in Canada and ate the gala dinner including the chocolate cake. I also had 1 latte with sugar free syrup. This wasn't the plan but it was considered ahead of time and I was okay with making the choices I did. I minimized any damage by eating my own food the whole way there, for breakfast and lunch at the conference, not having milk/sugar/sweetener in coffees during the conference, going to the gym at the conference and drinking lots of water. I was proud of that accomplishment. Then, I started from scratch on the 3rd when I returned from NB.

That feels like a lifetime ago. Because it is hard work. There is so much cooking, packing, dishes, emptying the green bin. We still have to work and increase our amount of green veg, but Im working on it. We are also doing well at meal planning. When I say we, I really have to mean me. My partner and I are fighting about our different ideas on what helping looks like. I'm still doing more than I feel that I should, working two jobs and then the lion share of cooking. She does the cleaning. I hope I can find a way to get across the amount of help that I need. Of course, asking her to stirfry chicken at 10 last night may have been unreasonable. But, I had been working until 9 and we went for a walk before I worked again until 11. It's one of those weeks and on those weeks, sometimes you need miracle workers to step in and help you. I don't feel like I have one of those and then I get grouchy.

We spent just about all day Sunday shopping for groceries that met the recipe plan. We are already off the recipe plan because of my work commitments. I will have to spend the evening cooking to get ready. Lucky, my 2nd job (teaching) is on fall break this week. I have some time to catch up.

I've been having really bad musculoskeletal pain in my hips, low back, and butt cheeks. I'm trying to work through that and I know some of it is getting back to CrossFit and trying to do so much hard work on a body that isn't used to doing much more than walking, hiking and kayaking since 2004. I was told that if I was an olympic athlete I would probably excel at Napping. I didn't know how to take that but when someone with special needs says something like that, it is usual unfiltered honesty.

I am a sucker for every marketing ploy right now. I've been following Yuri Elkhaim on Facebook. I'm so desperate for help that I'll take anything I can get. I bought a DVD about how to open hips last night. I don't even know what it does or if it is safe, I'm just having issues there and will try anything that might help me exercise more comfortably sooner.

It is times like these, when I realize how far and slow the journey will be, that I am tempted by things like Ideal Protein. It's such a hook to hear and remember how fast and "simple" it was the first time. How quick I was able to drop 30 lbs and feel the weight off my hips and my mobility improve so quickly. That's where I'm at...I need to drop weight to feel more loose and less in pain. But, to lose weight is so hard and I have to suffer so much in the process. I just have to keep the faith and space out workouts and go for walks in between and eventually I hope my body will say "Oh, this is what we are doing now" or my medical plan will reset and I will be able to afford to see a Physio or Massage or Chiro in seek of some solutions. It's hard to find solutions when you know the answer is that your body is rebelling on your sheer size. But, I do see people bigger than me being able to exercise without pain and spasms.

One day at a time. That's how I'm looking at it right now.